Sunday, 17 December 2017

Breakfast at Tiffs 'r' Us

FORGET Brexit, let’s talk about breakfast for a second. Because I don’t know about you, but in our house these days, the kitchen table ...

 

Can you have any authority if you suffer from Short Mum Syndrome?

So, it’s happened. Of course, I always knew it would — but so soon? It seems like only yesterday that she was toddling about under my ...

 

When did my daughter become a little black cloud in big workman's boots?

MY daughter, the Eleventeen-Year-Old, and I went out boots shopping for her at the weekend. I was thinking a low-if-any-heeled, ...

 

I can't get that pesky song out of my head

CAN you believe it? The Christmas scrum has well and truly begun. And even though there are still some brave autumn leaves hanging on ...

 

Tea's fine but what happened to the biscuits?

THERE’S no denying it, it’s pretty obvious I like a biscuit or 12 — I mean, just a quick glance at any one of my six chins is ...

 

Everything's a weighting game when you're on hold

THEY say that good things come to those who wait, but in my recent experience it seems as though just more and more weight piles on ...

 

My triumph with well-honed delegation skills

AND clean that sink! There’s Cookie’s hairs and dried blobs of toothpaste in it — it’s disgusting!” Ah, the dawn chorus. It’s just ...

 

Discovering the joy of jeggings

NORMALLY, I laugh in the face of fashion. And, as countless long-suffering friends and family have duly noted, fashion always laughs ...

 

Mink Elliott tries to be cool but is clueless about the lingo

“YOU’RE not wearing those socks, are you?” The Eleventeen-Year-Old’s mouth turns down in disgust. “Well, I was going to,” I reply. ...

 

Oh no, grumpy grandparents are coming!

IT is a truth universally acknowledged that when one turns 70, one also turns into a sweet, kindly, lovely grandparent a la Miss ...

 

Everything is mummy's fault, mummy's fault, mummy's fault

AS predicted, the Grumpy Grandparents hit it off with the Ten-Year-Old Teenager and the Sunshiney Seven-Year-Old in fine style last ...

 

She lives in a house, a very small house, in the country

I OFTEN find myself wondering whether the redoubtable yummy mummies at the school gates yank their kids away from mine and give me a ...

 

Does my being ever-so-slightly on the chunky side have anything to do with the new man in my life, Mr Kipling?

WHENEVER I’m in the local Co-op (five times in one day being the latest record) I always make sure I stock up on cheese. There’s ...

 

Sometimes being a single mum is like pulling teeth... literally

REMEMBER I told you about how the Sunshiney Seven Year Old informed me one balmy evening when I was brushing his pearly whites, that ...

 

Actually, it's pretty marvellous being a New Single Mum

For most married women with kids, the thought of becoming a single mum is about as appealing as John McCririck — and almost as ...

 

I hate this horrible heat!

THERE, I’ve said it. It has taken a long time (nearly 30 years or so), but I’ve finally come out of the beach changing cupboard and ...

 

How can one woman be so consistently wrong?

IT’S not easy being a Single Mum — in the countryside or anywhere else. Then again, it’s not easy being a mum full stop. At least, ...

 

The TYOT turns it up to 11

STOP eating all my Nutella with that giant spoon!” screams the Ten-Year-Old Teenager by way of a breezy Sunday morning greeting. “And ...

 

There's no time off when you have a dog

It’s great being a single mum whose ex-husband is a thoroughly brilliant dad because, every two weeks, when he has the kids over to ...

 

The holiday hell, too, shall pass

And so the long, hot summer holidays begin. We’ve been bombarded by adverts featuring unbearably happy families leaping about ...

 

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