Friday, 03 December 2021
1. Keep talking
To share things with someone special is wonderful. So many couples clam up or suppress problems. That’s a recipe for more trouble — festering worries grow out of all proportion and explode in nasty quarrels. Relationships are built on communication. If you make the effort to ask each other’s opinions it will more readily become a habit you can build on.
2. Remember you’re both on the same side
Relationships are partnerships. They are all about helping and supporting each other. If you have a quarrel don’t bring it up with others around even if they are friends. Talk together. Try to share what is bothering you — and try to listen to what each other says.
3. Signs of affection are wonderful
Especially now, we are out of the habit of showing any physical affection. A hug, a cuddle, holding hands — these are all precious things. Simple gestures of
affection keep relationships alive even if you are not feeling especially passionate. Just don’t scare your family if they are around.
4. Expect to be frustrated sometimes
Every relationship will have its bumpy patches. One of the greatest attitudes you can cultivate — and look for in another — is patience. I don’t mean the weak attitude that lets someone get away with anything. I mean the hard-won attitude that loves even when irritated, frustrated, upset or angry. Actually, those are the only times you can learn patience and it’s a quality to treasure in each other.
5. Keep on laughing
Say hello with a smile. It’s the best thing there is for wellbeing. Share things you find fun. If something amusing happens during your day make a habit of telling your partner. Make time to laugh together.
6. Never let the sun go down on your anger
Letting quarrels drag on only makes things worse. Try to find something pleasant to say even if you are too upset to kiss and make up. Remember it’s their attitude or behaviour you hate, not them. So, try not to let your partner go to work, or go away, or go to sleep without making the effort to resolve things.
7. Remember it takes two to make a problem
When you are irritated, ask yourself whether it is their behaviour, or your own response, which is making things difficult. Try to talk about things before they get to you too deeply. If they are doing something annoying say so calmly. If you don’t get annoyed, they can’t get resentful.
8. Treat each other
Build up the habit of finding little treats for each other. It doesn’t have to be expensive. A bar of chocolate, a candlelit meal. Give a silly present to raise a smile. Little gifts show you care as much as grand gestures.
9. Be a good friend
The first rush of affection is a wonderful thing, but it’s friendship that really counts. Couples who are good friends can genuinely enjoy each other’s company... and they find it much easier to sort out problems. Treat your partner with at least the same respect you give to friends. You don’t impose on them, or nag, or let them down — why would you do that with someone you love?
10. Pray for one another
The lovely thing about praying is you don’t have to pretend with God. He knows everything, so you can open up and be completely honest. God delights to see your love grow, Share your worries and anxieties. Let him lift the weight from you. Share your hopes. Share your dreams and ambitions. If you can pray together even better.
And don’t give up. Most of us make huge mistakes at some point but God is also amazingly forgiving.
14 October 2021
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