Empathetic volunteer 'helped people where he could': Tributes to Ian Bentley for his long life of service

Tributes have been paid to a man who was central to the running of the Child Contact Centre in Maidenhead – which for many years created a safe space for children to see their parents after a divorce.

Ian Bentley lived a long, rich life, passing away aged 92. A father and grandfather of three, Ian also had three wives, two of whom passed away from cancer.

Born in 1933, with humble beginnings in Staffordshire, Ian flourished in school and was encouraged to apply to Cambridge, where he studied natural sciences – which ‘absolutely transformed his life.’

He ‘relished’ his time there and was proud to be an alumnus – it ‘meant an enormous amount to him,’ said his third wife, Rosalind, who shared his life for 21 years until his death.

After graduating, Ian moved to Slough and married his first wife, Janet, in 1957, with whom he had two children, David and Steven.

Ian worked for ICI, the foremost chemical company in Britain – and in the early 60s, went to live in Malaysia, where he was the factory manager for the paint division.

The couple took their two young sons and lived there for a few years before moving back to England – to Hurley, where they had a daughter, Rachel.

In the late 1980s, Ian went off to work in Nigeria. During this time, Janet developed cancer and passed away in 1991.

After her death, Ian retired from ICI and was invited to become the chairman of the Child Contact Centre in Maidenhead, running out of United Reformed Church hall.

Until it closed in 2021, the contact centre provided a neutral space for children of divorced parents to meet up and bond with whichever parent they no longer lived with.

A priest friend of Ian’s, who had a knack for matching people to places where they could be of use, recommended the Child Contact Centre for Ian – who remained there for many years.

Rosalind said Ian was suited to this work because he was ‘a very good listener’ and was ‘very empathetic, wanting to help people where he could.’

A few years after starting at the contact centre, Ian married his second wife Mary. The pair spent ‘many happy times’ on Ian’s narrowboat until Mary passed away in 2003.

During this period, Ian was also the church warden at Hurley Church. Rosalind met him in 2004, as a fellow church warden at Stubbings.

“My [first] husband had died the previous summer too,” she said. “We shared our grief, we shared our faith, and we shared our love of walking – but very discreetly.

By 2006, the pair were married – and had a ‘wonderful’ marriage ever since, said Rosalind.

“We enriched each other’s lives enormously,” she said. “We explored all sorts places we never expected to see in our lives.”

Even after Ian was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2021, the couple ‘led a very full life’ until the end of June this year.

At that point, Ian suffered a bleed on both sides of the brain. He wasn’t expected to survive this, but he hung on for a while before eventually passing ‘peacefully’ away.

Up until nearly the end of his life, Ian maintained a ‘constant curiosity about everything’.

“Even when he was 92 and suffering from Alzheimer’s, he used to say regularly: ‘I’m not ready to pop my clogs yet,’” said Rosalind.

“He just felt that there was always more to discover, more to relish about life.”