Woman in wheelchair to ‘walk’ 10km in memory of missing brother-in-law

A WOMAN from Emmer Green is taking part in a 10km walk in London this evening (Friday) to raise money and awareness for a missing relative.

Marlena O’Donnell, 50, is part of the Missing People Charity’s London walk, beginning at St Martin-in- the-Fields.

She is commemorating the 30th anniversary of the year that her brother-in-law Trevor O’Donnell went missing.

Mr O’Donnell, was a 23-year-old student at the University of Kent when he disappeared from his lodgings in Canterbury on or around March 29, 1994 and since then the family have not had any leads.

Mrs O’Donnell had not even met Trevor, who is five years younger than her husband, Kevin, but says he is spoken about by the family so often that she feels she knows him.

Mrs O’Donnell, who uses a wheelchair, is “walking” to raise money for the London Homeless Collective.

She said: “I’m doing the walk because it coincides with the time Trevor went missing. It’s our way of marking that anniversary.

“You cannot even say it’s closure — there’s no closure. You just want to mark this as a family.

“My husband is also disabled and he cannot walk very far. My godson is also coming with us. I’m kind of representing the family that cannot do it themselves.”

Mr O’Donnell is one of 285 such cold cases in Kent, according to police.

Mrs O’Donnell, who works as a life coach, said: “He went missing five years before Kevin and I got married. We don’t even know the exact date.

“He was a very bright lad and went to university and something happened in that year that we don’t know about. He had some kind of mental health breakdown, we suspect, and had a gap year. He moved into rented lodgings and got himself a job as a lab technician.

“Pretty much as soon as he got the job, he wrote to the manager to say that he was going away for a few days and he was giving up the job. This is all we know.

“He left no note for the family, no goodbye, no indications whatsoever that he had any intention of disappearing. He left his clothes and passport.

“The note to his manager shows some intention but we don’t know what the intention was.

“Thirty years ago it was easier to disappear if you wanted to and not so easy to look for people.”

There have been several appeals over the years and the family have not given up hope.

Mrs O’Donnell said: “It’s as though he went off the face of the earth and that’s incredibly difficult for us as a family.

“Even though I have not met him, I feel his presence, or his absence. There’s this big part of my husband’s life missing.

“I’m always asking about Trevor — ‘Why did he go missing; do you know anything about him?’” She said it was particularly hard for the family on special occasions, such as anniversaries and birthdays.

Mrs O’Donnell added: “When we got married, when Kevin’s dad died… we could not get hold of Trevor. In these significant events in our life, his absence is particularly felt.”

She decided to do the walk as a way to give back to the charity that helped the family.

Mrs O’Donnell said: “The Missing People charity has been incredibly supportive, putting up appeals for his birthdays and significant anniversaries.

“They work with the police and they provide support to the families of missing people because not everyone wants to be connected to the families if they are missing and some just want to let them know they’re okay.

“There’s always hope and we desperately want to find Trevor if he would like to be connected with us.

“The charity understands what it is like to be in this position and provides emotional and practical support.

“They’re also quite successful in finding people and helping families. Social media really does help to spread the message but they do it in a sensitive way. They’re one of the most incredible charities I have ever come across. They have so much understanding but are professional at the same time and are so kind.

“Every 90 seconds someone goes missing in the UK. When someone goes missing, you don’t really understand and your life is in limbo. You’re not giving up but you have a mixture of hope, despair and fear — mostly negative emotions.

“As time goes on, it gets harder and harder but the people at the charity never give up. They’re always there to support you no matter how difficult things are.”

She said the disappearance was particularly hard on her husband, who was very close to Trevor.

Mrs O’Donnell said: “When I first met Kevin, it didn’t come up until a month or so in when I asked about his family as I was curious. Trevor had only been missing for four years then and there was more hope.

“It was a surprise to Kevin that Trevor didn’t tell him anything about his intentions as they were so close. It’s very upsetting and incredibly difficult for him.

“We talk about Trevor a lot. It’s quite important, particularly for their mum Tina to make sure that that memory does not fade.

“It could be easy not to talk about him but we want to keep that memory of Trevor alive.”

Mrs O’Donnell has already raised more than £800.

She said: “I’m really excited and really looking forward to the walk. It’s going to be a challenge in a wheelchair and not as easy as if I was walking but it’s not a big rush.

“I have done four half marathons before in a wheelchair but I cannot do marathons anymore because of health issues.

“I feel a little bit apprehensive but to me it’s the gratitude I feel for the charity that gets me through.”

To make a donation via JustGiving, visit https://tinyurl.com/
rm33hxz3 or https://www.givengain.com/project/marlena-raising-funds-for-missing-people-74692

For more information about the charity, visit www.missing
people.org.uk