Feeling flush?

LADY McAlpine is appealing for people to help with her loos...

She is the driving force behind the Thames Traditional Boat Festival, which will take place on Fawley Meadows in Henley next month and needs to underwrite the cost of hiring 50 portable toilets by having them sponsored.

Lady McAlpine says: “For only £100 you can advertise yourself, someone you love, a product, a grievance, even a political party — oh no, too late for that. You could even stick a perfect photo of yourself inside opposite the door for users to admire while ‘in the closet’.

“You will have an entire ‘Tardis’, inside and out. Naturally, as the loos are hired, you can’t paint them; you will have to use reusable adhesive or sticky tape to attach your ads, artwork, graffiti etc You must also be prepared to remove it all at the end so our lovely loo providers can take back their equipment in a fit state for rehire.

“We will be handing out the Thomas Crapper Memorial Trophy to the winner (and returning their entry fee). A friend of mine happens to have inherited Crapper’s business and has a museum dedicated to him and all things water closet, so he will judge. He has a terrific sense of humour.”

Sponsors can decorate all day and evening on Thursday, July 18 or the next morning or from 6am to 11am on the Saturday. Lady McAlpine adds: “Have your weekend of fame and get your loo in the Henley Standard too...”