Woman who showed how to value people with disabilities

A CHARITY group in Henley which supports disabled people is celebrating its 25th anniversary this year.

South Oxfordshire Mencap was started by Melba Pitt in 1999 as an offshoot of the national charity.

She is also celebrating a milestone this year, as she will turn 100 in the autumn, something she says she can’t quite believe and tries not to think about.

As well as Mencap, she started the town’s toy library, which provided play equipment and play mornings to children with disabilities.

Mrs Pitt, who lives in Nicholas Road, moved to Henley from Croydon in 1960 after her husband, David, was appointed principal at the old technical college. She has four children, Frances, Martin, Nicola and Robert.

It was while working as an English teacher at Gillotts School that she became involved with her charitable pursuits.

These began with raising money on a “big scale” to buy toys and play equipment recommended by the Toy Library Association in London in order to start the toy library at Henley Baptist Church.

Mrs Pitt said: “I could see how equipment could help these young people to cope with their difficulties and it did.

“We had sessions on Saturday mornings which allowed us to use the church equipment and supplied us with a shed to store toy equipment such as swings and jigsaw puzzles.

“We used to go and get the children from the ward at Townlands Hospital, bring them over and let them have a couple of hours playing with children their own age, which they enjoyed.

“Their brothers and sisters could come along as well and they could also borrow the toys for a week or longer and really get use out of them.

“It was a new idea, using equipment and toys to help people along in their lives. That was the main aim.

“We had one girl who was an expert at jigsaw puzzles. She did them upside down — can you imagine that?”

A committee was soon formed. Mrs Pitt recalled: “Some lovely people were attracted to this idea. We had Hedley Roberts on the committee who was a pianist so we used to have musical mornings, which the children loved. They wanted to physically react to it.”

As a member of Inner Wheel, she continued to raise money for the toy library.

She had the idea of starting the Mencap group after reading about how to do it in the society’s magazine.

The charity provides people with learning disabilities opportunities to live fulfilling lives. Volunteers offer regular respite activities, allowing those attending to engage with and integrate into the community.

The group currently supports around 50 people. One of its main activities is the Meteor Club, which meets every week for social activities. It also holds four discos a year, swimming sessions at Henley leisure centre, a summer picnic or barbecue, a Christmas party and trips to the pantomime and theatre.

Mrs Pitt said: “We sent out letters appealing to all the charities. Henley had quite a number of charity-oriented groups which held on to this and thought: ‘That’s a marvellous idea’.

“We had a home in Reading Road, called the Bungalow, we had the Baptist Church and the hospital supporting us — we had all this support.

“There was no money involved for the people who joined. They enjoyed meeting people from other spheres of life.

“We contacted them through the different homes — there was a home in Greys Road and the school in Valley Road, the former Bishopswood. They also supported us and borrowed toys from us.

“It was rewarding. You came across lots of problems that you didn’t know existed and we helped.

“We used to have lots of outings. We went to see the elephants at a zoo. We took them out on the odd Saturday and they enjoyed that.

“We had various people on our first committee, like Bob Braxton, who was treasurer and made quite sure that it was on the right track.

“We liked to get people representing different organisations, so that the money flowed in. And it did come in — it was a very popular charity.” She used to write and perform alongside members of the Meteor Club in a number of plays and pantomimes.

Mrs Pitt said: “We did three or four pantomimes at Greys Hall. We did Cinderella, Dick Whittington and Snow White and the Seven Elves because we dropped the word ‘dwarf’.

“This is something you’ve got to watch because at that time people thought that there was something strange about people like this. You’ve got to get over that and talk about them like normal folk. People got the wrong idea very often.

“The young adults loved the fact that we were at the Kenton. They took part. If they could say a word, even one word, we would let them do it in the play.

“I remember when we were doing Cinderella and one chap with Down’s Syndrome was trying on the slipper and turned to the audience and said in a very loud voice: ‘It fits!’, which of course brought the house down.

“I would have liked to do some more but that kind of thing needs a lot of organisation. They liked doing that, there’s no doubt about it. We had a lovely audience always and a good atmosphere.

“They were very well worth doing. It’s a pity it had to stop but it did. You can’t just go on and on.”

Mrs Pitt, who remains honorary life president of the group, says its work marked a turning point for social attitudes towards disabled people.

She said: “[Disabled people] were beginning to be valued, which they hadn’t been before, instead of being ignored and not taken notice of.”

One of her proudest moments came when she was made an MBE in 2003 for her work and went to Buckingham Palace with her husband and children to receive her medal from the Queen. She recalled: “When I got the letter, I just couldn’t believe it. Keeping it secret was very difficult. You wanted to tell everybody but you had to wait.

“It was a gorgeous ceremony. It was nice to meet all the other people who had been honoured, chat with them and hear what they were doing.

“I remember the Queen saying to me: ‘This is a very unusual affair you're involved in, isn’t it?’

“You see, looking after these children with difficulties was a new idea for a lot of people, even the Queen.

“I remember her being someone I could go on talking to. She wasn’t remote at all.

“When she came to open the River & Rowing Museum in 1998, I remember people from various organisation were invited to send a representative and she spoke to every one of us. She liked to chat.

“I think she appreciated talking to normal people. I don’t call myself a royalist but I did warm to her. We would be poorer if we didn’t have a royal family in a way.”

As well as her charity work, Mrs Pitt has been an integral member of the community.

She was part of choral groups and hosted singing rehearsals at her home.

She and her husband used to read the pages for the Henley Talking Newspaper, a service she now uses herself as she has limited eyesight.

She said: “It’s a great boon if you can’t read. It’s a comfort to know you’ve got the Henley Standard being read to you.I like being part of a community, definitely. You get a feeling of warmth. This is something that is worth fighting for.”

Nicola Pitt said she was very proud of her mother’s work.

“Everyone knew and loved mum,” she said. “There was a time when you would see a picture of mum in the Henley Standard frequently and we used to call her ‘The Ubiquitous Mrs Pitt’.

“During the Henley Royal Regatta, she would have rowers to stay. My brother and I used to have to give up our bedrooms and camp in the garden. I loved it.

“We had an American team and an Irish crew that won the Grand Challenge Cup.

“Mum wanted to make a nice hearty meal for the American team, so she cooked them a liver casserole.

“They don’t eat offal in America and one of them made a comment, ‘I’m going to donate this liver to the Liver Foundation’ and their coach went berserk.

“He was so cross. He said: ‘You never criticise another country’s food’.

“We were a bit worried because they had the race the next day but fortunately, they won.”

Mrs Pitt said: “I used to enjoy having them. You could rejoice with them when they won. When our team won, we were with them all the time. We fed them.

“You can’t live in Henley and not be associated with the regatta.”