'Hospice visits changed my mind': Town's former rabbi to publish book on assisted dying

The former rabbi of Maidenhead Synagogue and a significant figure in the assisted dying debate will soon be releasing a new book on this controversial topic.

Jonathan Romain was based at the town’s synagogue for 44 years, from 1980 until 2024, before moving on to become the convener of The Movement for Reform Judaism Beit Din.

His book – A Better Death: The Case for Assisted Dying – is informed by years of work visiting the terminally ill around RBWM, Slough and beyond, and how this has affected him.

During that time, he met hundreds of people towards the end of their lives, and it fundamentally changed his perspective on assisted dying.

“I’ve been on a journey,” said Rabbi Romain. “I, like a lot of clergy, was instinctively against [assisted dying] but a couple of things changed my mind.

“As a rabbi, I do a lot of visits to hospices, hospitals, homes – and I just saw too many people dying in pain.”

The ‘absolute trigger point’ was when Rabbi Romain visited a man in a hospice who was ‘in an odd position’ on top of the bed with his head between his knees.

“I asked him gently why he was in that strange position and he said, ‘It’s the only way I can control the pain.’

“I thought, ‘There has to be a better way than this.’”

Rabbi Romain began to look into the issue in more detail as the Assisted Dying Bill made its way through the House of Commons, and now the Lords.

He saw that it wasn’t ‘a leap into the dark’ at all – this model of assisted dying had been going in Oregon, USA, for almost a quarter of a century, since 1997.

“I was pleasantly surprised to find that what I thought was the Wild West was actually highly regulated with a lot of safeguards,” he said.

“That was the final tipping point,” said Rabbi Romain. “It shifted things for me enormously.

“[Assisted dying] was no longer about shortening life – it was about shortening death, the pain of death.

“If people want to carry on to their last breath, that’s great. But if people want to let go earlier – we’re talking about a few weeks – why should they not? In whose interest are we forcing them to live on against their will?”

As for why this book exists, Rabbi Romain said: “I thought it was important to speak as a minister of faith.

“The hierarchy – like the Archbishop of Canterbury and the other bishops – are very much against [the bill]. They all say, ‘Thou shalt not’. And that’s fine but it doesn’t represent everybody.

“The clergy on ‘the shop floor’ are actually in favour because we see people suffering. To me, it’s a religious response to say we should be compassionate.”

Moreover, Rabbi Romain found that many churchgoers are in favour of assisted dying, too.

Indeed, he found that when he visited churches in Maidenhead to speak to people about the matter, he was ‘pushing at an open door.’

Rabbi Romain’s book examines multiple issues – the history of assisted dying and why it has become a talking point at this moment in time, as well as the medical and moral arguments.

It also examines what happens next – the practical and human side of what assisted dying will look like, should the bill pass.

A Better Death: The Case for Assisted Dying will be published on February 1 by Reaktion Books (reaktionbooks.co.uk).