David Grubb, former headteacher, Gillotts School, Henley

DAVID Grubb, former headteacher of Gillotts School, Henley, has died, aged 83.

Born in 1941, David was adopted as a baby and brought up with his sister (also adopted) in Devon, Somerset, Bedfordshire and Kent.

His was a rural childhood, attending his father’s church services, living in vicarages and roaming the countryside.

He was always grateful to his parents for taking a chance on him, controversial at the time, as it was during the Second World War and they were a Church of England vicar and his wife.

As he grew up, David’s drive to create a better world, to show love and generosity and stand up for the underdog were qualities that showed throughout his life. Kindness and compassion were the foundation for all that he did.

David had many interesting and varied jobs, starting as a psychiatric nurse, then an English teacher in Devon.

He met his beloved wife Beverly, an American kindergarten teacher, at a party in Torquay in 1969 and they had two daughters, Clare and Emily, in the Seventies.

He secured a deputy headship in Malvern, Worcestershire.

In 1980 David and the family moved to Henley for him to become headmaster at Gillotts.

Many locals who were at secondary school in the Eighties remember Mr Grubb and his efforts to modernise, innovate and engage children during his time there.

In 1988, David had a change of career to become fundraising director at Barnardo’s, leading to the setting up of Children’s Aid Direct in Reading, which delivered aid directly to Bosnia, Albania, Romania, Haiti, Kosovo and Rwanda. David visited all these countries to personally supervise deliveries, often wearing a bullet-proof vest in the most dangerous places.

He witnessed shocking and terrible sights in war zones but also the energy and hope of local people.

David said: “You really do have to control your compassion and turn it into action.”

He really believed in the power of the arts and felt that refugees, orphans and those affected by disaster and conflict also needed to play, dance and tell their stories as much as they needed food and water.

He once had the idea to persuade the printers of the Yellow Pages to produce blank books for children in war zones to draw and write in. Later came jobs with the Spire Trust and the Church Urban Fund, charities that tackle poverty, build communities and support religious education in schools.

David was a writer throughout his life. From charity reports and publicity materials to novels, short stories, poetry and his autobiography, this is how he made sense of the world.

He had many publications and contributed his poems to scores of magazines and anthologies.

He wrote about people, memories of his parents, other poets, his family, those disregarded by society, ordinary people in war zones, the lonely and the mentally ill.

He wrote about meaningful places: the West Country, Devon and Cornwall and Somerset, where he had grown up and loved to return to with his family, the Italian lakes and Greek islands, where he relaxed with his beloved Beverly.

Questions about spirituality and faith run through his writing, connections between ghosts of the past and the living, gardens and vicarages, farms and fields.

When at home, David loved to write at his father’s old desk, listen to classical music, enjoy his garden and spend time with his family in the Henley houses that were home for most of his years.

When visitors came to stay, he and Beverly would take them on driving tours and proudly show off their favourite places.

Every year they hosted regatta rowers and loved the traditions of watching the racing and attending the festival.

David’s daughters and their families visited often and he was a wonderful grandfather to Kier, Danny, Asher and Satya, with a trademark sense of humour and hugely fun.

Emily and family lived in America and both they and he crossed the Atlantic Ocean regularly.

He was an active member of Christ Church in Henley and fundraised for the creation of the Christ Church Centre.

He ran youth groups and visited schools with lumps of shrapnel from war zones to show pupils what was happening in the world.

When Beverly developed dementia, David altered his work to become a creative writing mentor and tutor, so that he could spend more time at home, eventually to become her carer in later years.

He was a devoted and incredibly loyal husband, visiting her daily once she was in care homes, neither of which were near Henley.

He moved to Twyford to be closer to her, spending all day, every day with her and returning to enjoy his garden, surrounded by his paintings and books.

His family was devastated when David, too, was diagnosed with dementia. He moved back to Henley, a town he had always adored.

His family often wheeled him from his care home down to his favourite cafes and restaurants, waving his walking stick from his wheelchair to show gratitude to the cars that stopped to let him cross the roads.

He died on April 1, peacefully in his sleep. The funeral took place at Christ Church last month.

David Grubb was a hugely loved and respected writer, father and grandfather.