Neurodivergent women share innermost thoughts

ACTRESS and poet Stephanie Farrell Moore has co-edited an anthology of poetry, written by neurodivergent women.

Kaleidoscopic minds Vol II is a follow-up to the first title, published two years ago, in which late diagnosed, undiagnosed and misdiagnosed women with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, obsessive compulsive disorder and tics put pen to paper.

Stephanie, 41, has co-edited the anthology with Catherine Bell, a GP from Sheffield, and Emily Way-Evans. Both Stephanie and Catherine have ADHD, while Emily has ADHD and is autistic.

Stephanie, who has two sons, aged 13 and 10, says: “I had an interesting conversation with a friend who was talking about a relative’s autism diagnosis and how as a family they were like, ‘Oh, we just don’t want to make any excuses for him and he’s just got to fit into society and do what everyone else is doing’.

“We’re still coming at this from such the wrong angle, because herein lies the problem, trying to make people conform to whatever this definition of normal even is.

“There’s that whole limbo of suspecting that you are neurodivergent and almost sometimes not feeling that you desperately need the label.

“I think an official diagnosis can make things feel a bit easier.

“In fact there’s a poem about that in the anthology and how that can really help with a stronger sense of agency when you’ve got the official label, as it were.”

Having been diagnosed eight years ago, Stephanie has managed to make adjustments in her daily life, such as using gravity blankets.

“I can’t sleep without mine,” she says. “I think a lot of neurodivergent people like that feeling of pressure. Some people have an aversion to water but a lot of neurodivergent people talk about having a real sense of calm around water. One of our poems is about the sea, it’s almost the kind of wildness, the noise and the weightlessness of it all from a sensory perspective. Whenever I’ve gone to the sea it makes me cry when I see it. It’s a very full body reaction or maybe that’s just age. It’s the white noise, it lulls you.”

Hormonal changes can have dramatic effects, adds Stephanie.

“Navigating perimenopause and neurodivergence is like an absolute minefield and it’s finding all the things that help to soothe your nervous system. Your confidence is diminishing as your hormones drop.

“I speak to so many women that feel the same, we’re not designed to be able to do all the things that we’re expected to do, so it’s no wonder that we’re all feeling completely burned out. When you reach perimenopause, it’s basically like you’re handed a health report for your entire life thus far. What are all these symptoms actually trying to tell you?”

Catherine mentions a June NHS report, stating that ADHD was previously under-recognised and under-treated. She says: “ADHD is currently under-diagnosed, so the increase is an expected response to increased awareness of the condition.

“I also think that neurodivergent children are struggling in our education system and schools are not always able/willing to provide the support they need so families are forced to pursue formal diagnosis.

“Parents then undoubtedly recognise their own neurodivergence and that leads to potentially whole families recognising themselves as neurodivergent and seeking confirmation and validation — it’s a bit of a perfect storm.

“If everyone could access the accommodations they needed in school and work then I think there would be less focus on the need to diagnose.”

l Kaleidoscopic minds Vol II is out now, priced £10. For more information, visit etsy.com/uk/
listing/4363663271/kaleidoscopic-minds-vol-ii-an-anthology